Tag: Parenting

  • Sending My Kid to School After Parkland

    Sending My Kid to School After Parkland

    My kid has questions I can’t answer. He wants to know how he’s supposed to go to school and feel safe. I have no answers. I can’t tell him that everything will be fine. I can’t guarantee that. I can’t lie.

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  • The F’ing Fish Died — Finally!

    The F’ing Fish Died — Finally!

    Blueberry may have been the longest-living betta fish in the county for all I know. I searched “betta fish life span.” Google kindly told me “2 y on average (In captivity)” with a picture and everything. Blueberry doubled that. At least.

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  • Crusher of Dreams, Officially

    Crusher of Dreams, Officially

    I’ve earned the title over time, with many incidents proving my worthiness. (I am, after all, a parent.) But my title was today bestowed upon me by my son with all the melodrama such a title deserves.

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  • Channeling Carol Brady

    Channeling Carol Brady

    I had a frightening moment while washing the dishes tonight. I was revisiting a conversation I’d had earlier, when I damn near dropped the scrubby brush. Holy crap, am I channeling Carol Brady?

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  • The Bungee Cord Code

    The Bungee Cord Code

    Fear of being tangled like a helpless fly prompted me to remove the bungee cords strung between doors in the hallway.

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  • That Time I Fell Out of a Tree

    That Time I Fell Out of a Tree

    I’m flat on the ground, staring at the tree that ousted me and doing the mandatory self-assessment that usually follows such a test of gravity. My kid walks over, looks down, and tells me “we have work to do.”

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