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Sending My Kid to School After Parkland
My kid has questions I can’t answer. He wants to know how he’s supposed to go to school and feel safe. I have no answers. I can’t tell him that everything will be fine. I can’t guarantee that. I can’t lie.
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The F’ing Fish Died — Finally!
Blueberry may have been the longest-living betta fish in the county for all I know. I searched “betta fish life span.” Google kindly told me “2 y on average (In captivity)” with a picture and everything. Blueberry doubled that. At least.
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Crusher of Dreams, Officially
I’ve earned the title over time, with many incidents proving my worthiness. (I am, after all, a parent.) But my title was today bestowed upon me by my son with all the melodrama such a title deserves.
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Channeling Carol Brady
I had a frightening moment while washing the dishes tonight. I was revisiting a conversation I’d had earlier, when I damn near dropped the scrubby brush. Holy crap, am I channeling Carol Brady?
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The Bungee Cord Code
Fear of being tangled like a helpless fly prompted me to remove the bungee cords strung between doors in the hallway.
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That Time I Fell Out of a Tree
I’m flat on the ground, staring at the tree that ousted me and doing the mandatory self-assessment that usually follows such a test of gravity. My kid walks over, looks down, and tells me “we have work to do.”
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